Development


Why writers need to DEVELOP ideas.

One paragraph should  =  one
MI (main Idea)
Ideas are abstract - vague - up for interpretation
example
(MI) Sally is very talented
"Talented" is abstract; it cannot be seen, heard, tasted, felt, or smelled. There are endless ways a person can be talented. What a writer means by "Talented" may not coincide with what a reader thinks when reading "talented
"Talent could be drawing, singing, dancing, a good conversationalist, athletic, gymnastic, clothing design, sewing, mathematics, science, archery, bowling,
   magic tricks,  etc..... the list is endless.
"Talented" has no clear meaning to a reader. What does it mean? Readers will all have different notions of "Talent."


This MI must be DEVELOPED to ensure that all readers understand what the author means by "Talent"
To do this a writer must provide DEVELOPMENT to show a  reader "Talent." 

 

These concrete techniques guide a reader to the (MI) (abstract idea) of a paragraph. They make writing jump off the page and also make writing easier and ore fun for an author. Use these techniques to DEVELOP all ideas. (all ideas are abstract)

 

  • Examples (descriptive, gives one to represent many, shows what you are writing about, illustrates etc..)
    She could play piano very well, and her she enjoyed trying just about any style of music. She was often heard practicing Country Music, Gospel, and even trying the most difficult Jazz styles.

  • Cases (narrative examples - when whatever your MI is talking about actually happened)
    While walking home form school last week, she ran into Bobby a member of the school choir, on his way to rehearsal. They talked about how the  orchestra was not performing at its peak because it lacked enthusiasm and energy. Sally always wanted to be in an orchestra, so she followed Bobby to orchestra rehearsal and sat in on the piano. Suddenly the entire ensemble came to life, and everything just started to really cook!

  • SD (sensory detail) appealing to the 5 senses: see, hear, touch, feel, taste (this is the way all knowledge enters our brains.
    Everyone seemed to really enjoy the soft, sensuous, light melodies she often used to back up the quite parts of the arrangement when the solo tugged at the heart strings with wonderful endearing melodies However, what she really dug was how she slammed those keys and banged out harsh, pumping rhythmic chords that pushed the others to play at a level never before heard in this orchestra.

  • Statistics (numbers, times, occasions etc...)
    For the next five weeks she sat in on all rehearsals and because of her input the orchestra  attracted three new horn players it desperately needed and a fantastic solo violinist who liked to play with her.

  • FL (figurative language: simile, metaphor, personification, idioms
    simile - comparing using life\as  (she was a dainty as a wildflower).
    metaphor - comparing not using like\as (she was a dainty wildflower)
    personification - (giving human like qualities to inanimate objects (she was dainty as a wildflower dancing in the wind)
    idioms - senseless phrases that have agreed u upon meaning (she worked her fingers to the bone)

  • Quotes (what was said)
     After a few jams sessions, the new horn players told her, "man, playing with you is like running a marathon and winning; you are always in high gear and  keep us all on our toes."

  • Paraphrases ( summarizing what someone said)


Put is all together, and here is the well developed paragraph.
using examples: She could play piano very well, and her she enjoyed trying just about any style of music. She was often heard practicing Country Music, Gospel, and even trying the most difficult Jazz styles. using a case:  While walking home form school last week, she ran into Bobby a member of the school choir, on his way to rehearsal. They talked about how the orchestra was not performing at its peak because it lacked enthusiasm and energy. Sally always wanted to be in an orchestra, so she followed Bobby to orchestra rehearsal and sat in on the piano. Suddenly the entire ensemble came to life, and everything just started to really cook! using statistics: For the next five weeks she sat in on all rehearsals and because of her input the orchestra  attracted three new horn players it desperately needed and a fantastic solo violinist who liked to play with her. using sensory quotes & FL: After a few jams sessions, the new horn players told her, "man, playing with you is like running a marathon and winning' you are always in high gear and keep us all on our toes." using sensory details: Everyone seemed to really enjoy the soft, sensuous, light melodies she often used to back up the quite parts of the arrangement when the solo tugged at the heart strings with wonderful endearing melodies. However, what the really dug was how she slammed those keys and banged out harsh, pumping rhythmic chords that pushed the others to play at a level never before heard in this orchestra. Wrap it up with a CS (concluding sentence) Her great musical ability is a great asset not only to her development as a musician but al other musicians who are lucky enough to play with her.
 


Below is an example of how to DEVELOP an essay and keep it UNIFIED
 
THESIS Cell phones  are a nuisance and teach all sorts of negative skills
Essay Topic   + APOV about the essay topic

 

 

 

supports\proves THESIS supports\proves THESIS supports\proves THESIS
Main Idea I Main Idea II Main Idea II
Whether a cell phone users is aware of it or not, this devise is uncomfortable for others. Because of their reliance  on cells young people are learning to be
dependent instead of independent
Since this technology is constantly developing new fun application, this devise is replacing creative thought in young users.
     
 

      Below are illustrations
      of how to develop
      Main Idea I

    DEVELOPMENTAL CONCRETE TECHNIQUES support\prove Main Ideass
 * Examples
: illustration, case in point, model, representation of the whole

    * Cases: narrative example - an actual time, place, event that happened

    * Sensory Details: appealing to the reader's senses - see, hear, taste, touch, smell

    * Statistics: numbers, sizes, amounts, etc.

    * Quotes: what someone said

    * Figurative Language: simile, metaphor, personification
 
Support  paragraphs with concrete writing, not more abstract ideas.
 

MI I Whether a cell phone users is aware of it or not, this devise is uncomfortable for others.

   * Examples: illustration, case in point, model, representation of the whole
   During a movie people trying to talk on a cell phone, no matter how softly they try, are overheard by those wishing to see the movie.
   It is distracting and lessens the enjoyment of the feature. In the news was a story of how a woman who was bothered by this type
   of inconsiderate behavior, got up, and threw her popcorn at the individual on the phone.

   * Cases: narrative example - an actual time, place, event that happened
   Last night my cousin took his wife out for an anniversary dinner at a very expensive restaurant. As soon as the waiter brought the
   menu, a woman at the next table decided to stared a cell phone conversation. My poor cousin had to listen to this very dull
   conversation between this rude lady and her son over why he didn't clean his room

   * Sensory Details: appealing to the reader's senses - see, hear, taste, touch, smell
   It seems that those who talk on their cell phone in public like to do it so everyone hears them. It is almost as if they want to be 
   noticed, and in so doing subject anybody within ear shot to their usually pointless conversation. The more dull and boring the
   conversation is, the louder the talker talks.

   * Statistics: numbers, sizes, amounts, etc.
   Yesterday at the gym, 3 of the first 5 people on the treadmill were talking on their cell phones. The others were making faces at them
   in hopes they would get the message and stop; however, they did not. This continued for 45 minutes, and when one cell phone user
   would finally leave, another one always seemed to be ready as a replacement. For most of the morning there was no peace and quiet
   on the treadmills.

   * Quotes: what someone said
   The elderly woman on the first treadmill was so bothered, that after a half an hour of listening to nonsense phone conversations,
   erupted by yelling. " Don't you people have any manners?" "Grow up!"

   * Figurative Language: simile, metaphor, personification

     Too many cell phone users are worse than drug addicts. They can't be without their toy! They can be seen constantly looking to see if
   a call came in. They are like spies in hiding, secretly looking for hidden messages. During class students are often seen with head
  down checking form messages or even worse texting. They look like little ants busy at work, although the work they do is tedious and
   pointless. It really creates an atmosphere where concentration becomes almost nonexistent.
 

MI II Because of their reliance on cell phones, young people are learning to be be dependant instead of learning independence.
     now provide concrete development, as illustrated above,  to prove (support)  this second MI

        examples
     cases
     sensory detail
     statistics
     quotes
     figurative language

     
  

MI III Since this technology is constantly developing new fun application, this devise is replacing creative thought in young users.

     now provide concrete development, as illustrated above,  to prove (support)  this second MI

        examples
     cases
     sensory detail
     statistics
     quotes
     figurative language

 

   

Understand the difference between abstract and concrete writing
 

Abstract

Ideas, thoughts, opinions, theories, concepts, points of view, attitudes, etc

Use: MI (Topic Sentence) or Thesis 

* not very  effective for paragraph support

 

Concrete

Things you can: see, hear, taste, touch, smell

Use: support for abstract statements.

*very effective for paragraph development

 

examples:

abstract: My mother is always there for me, and sacrifices a lot so that I grow up safe and healthy

concrete: My mom drives me to school every day, and seems to get all her house work done before I come home because there is always a hot meal waiting for me. Because she was concerned about the crime in our town, she took on a second job as a secretary in a busy law firm to make more money so that we could move to Smallville, a much safer community.

 

abstract: The weekend we spent camping in the mountains was educational, exciting, and very rewarding.

concrete: On our three day weekend in the mountains of Swartwood Lake, I learned a lot about how to locate and name types of birds. We also learned how to set up a camp and keep our area free of dangerous animals by hanging up garbage and securing food in airtight containers.  We also went swimming and white water rafting every day. I participated in many new activities and met great new friends.

 

 

See how this works
The following 4 sentences were included in ONE paragraph of a student essay. I noted that each is a MI - The writer was concerned and did not understand - he thought the sentences that I noted as MI  were in fact support for sentence 1 (his paragraph MI) they are not – they are ALL MI.
 

 

Sentence 1: = Cultural and societal influences teach us to excuse our behavior. MI of the paragraph.

his states a fist point of view
It is abstract - If you expect  a reader to believe or even consider it - you must prove it  with concrete development - not another MI. The way to support a MI is with Development (mostly concrete)

 

Sentence 2: =  Responsibility has been trivialized in the modern world  another MI

This states a second point of viewIt is abstract – It does not prove the above statement - it introduces another point of view you hold - A new MI.

 

Sentence 3: The words ‘taking responsibility’ carry the undertone of unnecessary hardship = another MI

This states a third point of viewIt is abstract – It does not prove the above statement - it introduces another point of view you hold - A new MI.

 

Sentence 4: We are encouraged to find excuses for our actions = another MI.
This states a forth point of viewIt is abstract – It does not prove the above statement - it introduces another point of view you hold - A new MI.

 

and the rest of the essay followed this pattern………

 

LET'S FIX THIS and make it CONCRETELY DEVELOPED!

Let’s Look at Sentence 1: The MI of the above paragraph.

Sentence 1: = Cultural and societal influences teach us to excuse our behavior. MI of the paragraph

The problem is that MIs are all ABSTRACT. They are mere thoughts – you cannot: see, hear, taste, touch, or hear them. They are vague. The reader does not know what the writer means. Everyone reading has a different idea of what cultural influences you are talking about and what we are being taught, so how do you support it?  Easy - you support it with CONCRETE DEVELOPMENT. watch……. I will first provide an example – then a Case (narrative example of when it actually happened) all in none paragraph.

 

Cultural and societal influences teach us to excuse our behavior. (MI of the paragraph)

      There is actually a law on the books that states that persons judged not able to understand the consequences of their actions, who suffer mental incapacity, cannot be guilty of a serious crime. If you can get a fancy lawyer, a paid psychiatrist, or any mental health official believable by the courts, to agree that a mental condition exists that precludes a charged party from being punished. The "criminal" will not be charged with a crime. This individual may go to a mental health clinic, and given treatment on the tax payer's dime, With some tender loving care, recovery from insanity which excused murder, is possible.  Insanity has been cured.  Release is next. This person is freed! If this isn't excusing behaviors and alleviating responsibility, what is? In addition to ridiculous laws that allow murders to go free, if the charged party happens to be a celebrity, the chances of not being rightfully convicted are greatly enhanced. Several years ago such a case reached world wide attention. It seemed that O.J. Simpson an enormously famous professional football player, by all accounts and popular consensus of pundits and the average viewer, did commit the double murders that he was charged with. It seemed a slam dunk for the prosecution. All the legal experts, criminal analysis, and arm chair critics seemed to agree on this one. He did it. It may have been fancy legalese footwork, the circus environment that engulfed the trial which accompanies celebrity miscreants, or more to the point his status as a grid iron icon, but to the surprise and disbelief of all watching the he was found "not guilty!" A collective sigh of disbelief could almost be heard throughout the county. On the way out of the court, OJ smiling broadly mouthed the words, “Thank you” to the jury, and an observant viewer could almost see them smile back at him.  I doubt anybody wanted to be responsible for putting a Hall of Famer in prison. (note: the last sentence is my CS=concluding sentence)

 

OK - I have only just touched the surface of "society excusing behavior" (the APOV))  I could have provided many more cases or examples from real life, as many as necessary to PROVE that my point of view is valid or at least worth considering.

 

This is how we support a Main Idea - every time you insert your point of view\opinion you must prove to a reader that you know what you are talking about, and you must make your point appear in the reader's mind just as it appears in yours.
 

 

Here is another example of how to CONCRETELY DEVELOP a  MI.

 

In another 4 sentence paragraph a student wrote.

 

For a young guy my cousin is very successful (MI of the paragraph) He got a very good job right out of college; MI  it paid very well. His job also included some great benefits that provided him lots of exciting opportunities MI. Because he did so well, his boss showed his appreciationMI; this was welcomed by my cousin because he was able to fulfill a lifelong dream MI . I am happy for him. (all sentences are MI_

 

very good job = abstract (MI)
paid well= abstract (MI)
great benefits= abstract (MI)
exciting opportunities= abstract (MI)
bosses appreciation= abstract (MI)
fulfill lifelong dream. = abstract (MI)

 

Watch how easy it is to CONCRETELY DEVELOP the MI of the paragraph

 

For a young guy, my cousin is very successful. = MI of the paragraph
For a young guy of 25 he graduated college and earned a Masters Degree in Business Communications. With this degree, he was able to obtain employment at Lexicon Industries as a Public Relations Specialist at a salary of $55K a year. After only 8 months on the job, he was promoted to director of communications with a 20% pay increase. This new position required that he make several visits, during his first year as director, to the company’s  London and Paris offices. He always had the travel bug and yearend to see these two beautiful cities, so while doing business he was able to extensively tour these two countries. Because he did so well, his boss gave him a big enough bonus for him to put a down payment on a modest first house in West Caldwell NJ. He and his wife were thrilled because now they could start the family they always wanted. Life is very good for him, but he through his hard work, he sure earned it. (note: the last sentence is my CS = concluding sentence)

In this paragraph the MI is supported by: several statistics, several examples, some sensory details

Isn’t it now much clearer what this writer means by “Very Successful for a young guy”

 

Choose an appropriate rhetorical method for each paragraph:

There should one overall rhetorical method for the entire essay: however, you can pick and choose different methods for individual paragraphs. In fact, writers like different methods. It keeps the  writing fresh and interesting. These are the rhetorical methods.
                       narration : - tells what happened, tells a story

               description: shows what it appears to be

 example\illustration: gives samples, representation, models

            classification: puts into groups

     compare\contrast: shows similarities and differences

       process analysis: shows how it happened or how to do it

              cause\effect: shows what made it happen or the results of what happened
                  definition: what the writer says it is, tracing boundaries

argument\persuasion: stating opinions & proposals